The Cul-de-sac Classic
A case of suspected foul play by the Eds has been reported and interviewed by the victims of what is now being called "The Chimp Wurld Incident". The victims of this disaster have reported that the Eds pranks and scams have gone too far this time.
"They were everywhere, I couldn't see 'em but they got everybody but me!", utters a disturbed and paranoid Kevin. Old world Rolf had yet, a different view of the incident. "There are no Ed boys that day. Rolf knows because their oily perspiration has tuned Rolf's nostrils." Despite this, our reporters had to pay a visit to Nazz, who had a birds-eye-view of the area. We also brought up the subject of her non-feminine secondary attire. "There wasn't an Ed to be seen. The stuff just broke down, that's all."
Our reporter finally got to the subject of her undergarments, but couldn't remember a thing after our other reporter found him unconscious, head first in a trash can. We can now state that the Eds were apparently not the cause of the accident, but the entire neighborhood is in the belief
Weather: Beware of ozone hole
All citizens of Peach Creek, and all cities within a hundred mile radius should stay indoors until the health department says otherwise.
During a July swim in the Creek, the Eds were reported to have stayed on top of a cliff for hours on end until dusk. Unfortunately, they were there as a sizeable hole in the ozone layer covered Peach Creek with severe ultraviolet rays. Despite Edd's thoughts on the matter, he was wrong to believe that their severe sunburns were from his forgetting sunscreen. It wouldn't of course, have mattered whether or not they were wearing UV protection.
The cause for this atmospheric blemish is still undetermined, but it was also reported that a large swarm of what witnesses believed to be hair spray and cheap perfume chock full of powerful chloroflurocarbons, emerging from the Park n' Flush trailer park.
To help Rolf
Must have the backbone of a yak. Must be able to be addressed by the position of Nincompoop. Must be obedient to Rolf . Should have little or no self esteem. Cannot be a jellyfish. Must be prepared to pay for work equipment out of pay.
Please do not contaminate the food as pigs eat from it. Do not burn the candle at both ends, as it leads to the life of a hair dresser.
Please call Rolf at qwertyuiop. You shall not be disappointed!